When Kai is Crying… (Adventures in Colic Part 2)

When Kai is happy my family is in a GOOD place.  I thrive as the mother of three boys and watch my husband do the same as a father.

When Kai is happy we both feel that the third child is the easiest, smoothest, and even most magical transition of all our babies.

When Kai is happy we take pictures at every opportunity. My bigger boys so look forward to Kai waking up so they can “see his eyes” and take turns holding him.

When Kai is happy my world feels steeped in magic.

When Kai is happy it is precious and beautiful.

But…

When Kai is crying my boys stay away.

When Kai is crying we all pray for him to keep sleeping because when he wakes up he’s either screaming or we’re waiting in morbid anticipation of the screaming.

When Kai is crying my husband and I take turns losing it and holding each other up. My boys take turns worrying.

When Kai is crying there are definitely NO photo ops.

When Kai is crying I feel like I’m neglecting my other children and our family is falling apart.

When Kai is crying I mostly hole myself up in the bedroom with him, not wanting witnesses to my personal hell.

When Kai is crying I often cry with him.

And yet sometimes….

When Kai is crying I can support him gracefully as he works through it.

When Kai is crying I can smother his face in kisses and tell him over and over again how loved he is.

When Kai is crying I can look past the tears and see his Divinity.

When Kai is crying I can cling to him and love him fiercely.

When Kai is crying I can tell myself (and him) that it’s only temporary and he’ll feel better soon.

When Kai is crying I can fully realize the strength and grace of MYSELF as a Mother.

And mostly…

When Kai is crying I know there are higher reasons for this happening ~ that it’s something he (and we) have to go through and that we’ll all come out better, brighter and more beautiful than ever on the other side….

I love you, Kai…fiercely.

By Kate Street Posted in colic

7 comments on “When Kai is Crying… (Adventures in Colic Part 2)

  1. You are a wonderful mother Kate! I especially love your description of the fierceness of a mother’s love even through the tough times. Strength and Grace under pressure for sure!!! I’m very grateful Alexa can learn from you and all the other wonderful women on your sites!

    When Alexa was only 11 months old, I left her for the first time at a small home daycare, run by a coworker’s Italian-born wife. Alexa had only been at home with me or her dad prior to that time. Sofia and her sister took turns holding Alexa while she cried for the first 3 days she was there. On the third day, she stopped crying, understanding I guess, that I would be back. I’ll never forget `Fia later told me ( as a very experienced child expert!) that this was a wonderful sign – she was strongly attached to me; a good sign for her early psychological development and well being. There was a secure trust – shown both by the distress and the ability to accept that I would return. Babies are very smart!

    You are providing so much love while Kai is crying, and your husband too. This is such a hugely important time and Kai is learning in the only way he can right now, that he can trust you to be there when he is in distress. I hope he will feel better very soon. And you too!

    Embrace your ferocious maternal instincts! They are vital!

  2. Oh honey! You are doing great. This too shall pass, soon Kai will be past the 4th trimester and past this phase. I’m sure you’ve tried everything, but I used to swaddle Ruby and then bounce on a giant exercise ball. My legs got tired of the exercise ball. I hated the exercise ball. It was the only thing that helped. Love to you!

  3. So sorry mama 😦 My second baby was like that and it is so incredibly difficult. Most of his babyhood was a blur spent holding him in the sling while he cried. 😦 But he is an amazing 9 year old now! It will get better.

    I saw you mention about eliminating dairy. I would definitely give that another shot, but eliminate ALL dairy for a min of 2 weeks. It takes 2 weeks for dairy to clear your system and cow’s milk protein is the #1 sensitivity babies have. Homeopathics can help and you can also try some of the colic “remedies” (like Colic Calm) too. Hang in there!!

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