From Weepy Mama to Wise Cheerleader…(Adventures in Colic Part 3)

Seven days ago I had an epiphany ~ or a series of them to be more exact.

It all started with an incredibly HARROWING day where I cried every time Kai did ~ so much so that when I looked in the mirror my eyes were all red, puffy, and swollen. I was doing everything I could to find out WHY Kai was crying, so that I could try to help him ~ a trip to the doctor, endless internet searches, and even 2 trips to psychics! No one could tell me definitively WHY my baby was crying, therefore I didn’t know how to help him.

That harrowing day I went to bed heart-broken with my swollen eyes, not knowing how to help my crying, hurting, beautiful baby boy. I begged to my higher self  in the dark”I just want to feel GOOD without having to change Kai ~ HOW can I do that?”

Then I woke up at 1:00 am and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I thought maybe I’d do more internet searches or maybe write in my journal. Instead Kai moved around restlessly in between the states of wakefulness and sleeping, so I picked him up and rocked him… and then decided to ask HIM why he was crying.

Soon what I felt coming from him were the words “Mama, I’m actually a happy baby. And I’m very healthy, as you’ve always known. This is just something I have to energetically get through ~ and once I do, I’ll be just fine. Trust me, trust me, trust me.” And as I hugged him and rocked  him I felt waves of energy coming over us and I said “I believe you, I believe you, I believe you!” It was so moving, I got teary (again).

The next day my dear friend, Marcia, came over to do some cranial-sacral-therapy on Kai. She’s so wonderful at what she does, and it was incredibly magical watching Kai allow her to do this work on him. I held the space for all of us and focused my energy on Kai. After the session (and without knowing about my conversation with my baby the night before) Marcia told me that Kai spoke to her, saying that” he’s actually a very happy and very healthy baby, that he’s working through some energy and he’ll be just fine”. I was overcome to hear these same words come from her mouth that I had intuited just a few short hours before ~ I was giddy with the validation.

Later when Kai awoke from his nap, he immediately started crying so I took him the bath. While in the bath, I heard the words “His transition was so fast, he’s having trouble coming into his physical body. But he’s fast-tracking this and it’ll be over soon. Just allow this and support him. The more you LET him cry, the faster he’ll move through this.” This really was an incredible paradigm shift. I had been spending all my time trying to distract, stifle, and stop the crying…I had NEVER thought to ALLOW it. NEVER!

More waves of energy came over me and I decided I would be Kai’s cheerleader. With this new information and perspective I KNEW how to help him ~ by ALLOWING. So, the rest of our bath I cheered him on. With each big cry I’d say something like “That was a good one!” or “You’re doing it, Kai,” or “Good for you, Baby” and OH! HOW THIS CHANGED EVERYTHING!!!!  I felt EMPOWERED!

Kai cried for an hour in the bath, and the rest of the evening he was peaceful. And so was I.

I told my family what our new strategy should be and they were eager to help. Each time Kai cried we’d gently cheer him on, while holding him and surrounding him with love. And you know what happened? I got my family back.

My husband and I felt connected again, as a team.

My children came around to see Kai, even when he was crying, to say hi to kiss him. (I thought they were staying away from Kai because of the crying, but they were staying away because of MY REACTION to his crying.)

We were laughing again.

There was peace…even amongst the crying. We had found a way to be BLISSFUL with colic ~ by ALLOWING it.

Now, I’d like to wrap this little story up in a bow and say that we lived happily ever after ~ or even that Kai stopped crying soon after. But life isn’t quite like that, is it? This was 7 days ago. My cheerleader lasted 5 days, and then took a day off yesterday.

From Monday to Wednesday Kai cried worse than he ever has, getting red marks around his eyes. I didn’t see his smile or dimples for 48 hours.

But today I’m hopeful again. Today I’m cheerleader again. And maybe that’s how it’ll be ~ a few days of grace followed by moments of tears. But today…today is a good day.

 

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17 comments on “From Weepy Mama to Wise Cheerleader…(Adventures in Colic Part 3)

  1. Your colic posts have terrified me and greatly impressed and encouraged me. Like you, I thought that “my babies just don’t cry”. Out of 3 babies, the longest any of them ever cried inconsolably was half an hour, and it happened twice. I’d like to have more children, but the thought of going through a challenge like colic or health problems is daunting. I love seeing that you ARE getting through this, even if it is a challenge, and that you are finding ways to deal with it and grow!

    • Katie ~ you’re brave to even READ the posts! 😉
      I’m sure you can absolutely handle any future children you may have. Strangely enough, I wouldn’t trade this experience with Kai for the world. Love to you!

  2. Kate you have a great attitude! I remember going through that a year ago and when I was finally able to let go and accept it, the easier it was. He got it out of his system and he was fine! Keep staying positive.

  3. Kate,

    Thank you for sharing your experiences here! I love the way you write and the beautiful pictures I see in my head as I read what you write. I love the affirmations and communications you have with your baby. We’ve been going through some things too, and the reminder to trust my baby (who just turned 4) and myself, was exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you.. You are an inspiration.

    Erika

  4. Love your posts. I can relate. My second born had colic and I remember rocking him as he screamed. His swaddle blanket would be soaked from my tears. Love the cheerleader approach you’ve taken. If ever his eyes get too red, you may find solace by sitting in a dark bathroom with the exhaust fan on. It was one of the only things that calmed my son down. Must have reminded him of the womb. I should note that my son had several challenges his first year, but today he is almost 2 and is without a doubt the sweetest, funniest, cuddliest boy I know. Far sweeter than his big sis who never had to travel a hard road as an infant. Kai will be so strong (and sweet) from this…I just know it.

  5. What an amazing journey this is … thank you for sharing it with us. I’m so happy to hear you did craniosacral therapy. I was so awed by how it helped my first daughter as an infant (and myself, once I saw how incredible it was, and then my second daughter as well), that I am now taking the training for it.

    You can do this :).

  6. What you wrote was so similar to the journey I went through with R’s seizures. Once I surrendered and realized that I needed to let go, I found instant relief. It’s an incredibly healing journey and I’m so glad you are able to embrace what is too! What a gift for you, Kai and your entire family.
    I love you!

  7. Hang in there Kate. Know that nothing is forever and before you know it, little Kai will be a much more alert and smiley baby, you’ll see! my little Tom, although it wasn’t as bad as colic, did go through a crying period between week 3 and week 9 where all he wanted was to either be at my boob or in my arms (I got nothing done!), I got frustrated, angry, stressed out but I now look back at those weeks and realise how fast they just flew by and it wasn’t worth it getting so stressed out about. Tom still cries now and again but is much more alert than before and can happily stare at the light/curtain/his sister for ages before needing me again and sooo smiley now, I love it! Loads of love!!!! xxxx

  8. Kate, you are just such an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I’m so glad you two are over the hump and that Kai has started adjusting 🙂 Much love and light to all of you. xoxoxoxoxoxo

  9. Your posts have been making my heart hurt, sweetie… I’m so glad you are finally in a better place about it – and love that CST!

    You know if this keeps up I’m moving in…

  10. Pingback: The Calm (Baby) After the Storm « Love from Baby

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